Kids’ extracurricular activities in France compared to the United States
Just like in the US there are many extracurricular activities for children in France. Since we have been here in Virginia my children have started or resumed almost the same activities as in France, in other words a musical activity and a sports activity for everyone. Yet there are many differences between extracurricular activities in France and the United States:
- Cost
The first noticeable difference is the cost of activities. Unsurprisingly, extracurricular activities are much more expensive in the United States than in France. Prices are 2 to 10 times higher in the US than in France! This difference comes first of all from the fact that in France most activities are public and still high quality. In France my kids used to play music at the Conservatory which costs about 200 euros a year for each child whereas the cost of music lessons here in Virginia is more than 10 times higher. And this is not to mention that in France we could rent music instruments for a very low price through Conservatory affiliated stores while we have to buy them here in the US. Even sports practices’ price is half lower in France than here in the US.
- Frequency
The weekly frequency of extracurricular activities in the US is a real concern for me. Indeed, the practice of activities in the US is very time-consuming: every musical or sports activity requires at least 2 days of practice per week (and for example in the case of track and field practiced by my eldest son it was 5 days a week!) In France the Conservatory asked us several weekly participations but the sports activities were limited to one participation a week (or sometimes 2 when there were games). That way kids can practice different activities as hobbies unless they plan to become professional in an artistic or sportive field. I was quite surprised when during the first meeting for track and field the coach made it clear that in high school kids would have to make a choice and that they couldn’t have it all.
- Physicals and medical discharge
In France the possibility of sports injuries isn’t taken as seriously as in the US. You may be required to produce a medical certificate but in that case usually the family doctor just writes down a note. We don’t sign a discharge to recognize that in case of an injury we will not hold anybody responsible for the problem. And there is no emphasize on concussions. During the meeting for track and field we were asked to watch a short film about possible concussions and the fact that parents are the only ones to decide what’s best for their kids, should a trauma happen (see also my previous article about this subject) and we signed a specific release. There is no such thing in France. Note that if we followed the recommendations of the film, it was better not to let our children to practice a sport! (but obviously it is a matter of “liability” which is also something quite unusual in France …)
- Calendar
In France children practice an activity during eight months, from September to June (minus holidays). In the United States there is a fall season and a spring season for extracurricular sports activities. This was quite unusual for us and the duration of the two seasons (basically from September to November and then from March to May) was way shorter than in France.
- Competitions
Generally speaking I think the competition is very (way too) present in the United States. This is true at school as well as in sports activities. There are games and competitions every week. In France practices are more important than games. Games can easily be skipped, which is quite the contrary of the US. For example, my youngest son played soccer during spring and because of the rainy weather some games were cancelled in March (because the grounds were soaked). But then during the next weeks 2 games were scheduled every Saturday. When I asked another Mom whose child is in the same team why games were not just removed, she said “I guess some parents feel that as they have paid they want their child to make his games “. This was quite surprising for me! Likewise my eldest son had two to three track and field competitions each week, and most of the time in other towns and cities. So each time they left after school by bus and they were back to the school at 9pm or 10pm, when we had to pick them up. It seemed a lot to me as they had to go to school the day after!
- Parents’ involvement
In France parents are less involved in their kids’ activities than in the US (just as they are in school activities). For example in France two of my sons practiced soccer and we used to drop them at the beginning of the session and pick them up at the end of the session. Here in the US this is very unusual and I think that if it becomes a habit the coach and other parents would frown upon. What surprises me is not only parents are there each time but they also participate a lot, they praise and encourage! That’s why it’s so easy to get to know other parents: when you invest so much in your children’s activities it creates bonds.
34 Comments
ruuluu
Hello Yellow
.
This text is very biased and shows many personal opinions of the author that should not appear in an informational text such as this.
Anonymous
b
bow
b
Bow
hello myself
Anonymous
a
no
b
Anonymous
why bow
Anonymous
i say no
no
joke
ben dover
i hate my name
unk
bro
Grand ma👵
GET OFF MY LAWN!! 😡
your friendly grandma:)
i made you guys cookies!
Grand ma👵
Grandma’s rule!
your friendly grandma:)
yes they do margret!!!!!!
UNK
UNk’S are the goats thought!
ben dover 2.0
i also hate my name
grandma
anyone want cookies
random dude
guys i just farted
Anonymous
hola
Asher Ricciardi
Kids should have lunch because they need energy to work.
hi
bro asher you used your real name
hi
hi mikey
hi
MIKEY
hi not johnny
hi
hi not johnny
no
JOHNYS MOM
JOHNNY!
Grandma 👵
[It all starts with a screensaver where the Minions sing. Then begins with 2D, where we are shown how they were born then, many minions swimming and coming out of the ocean, next with 3D, the minions pop their heads out of the water and see a tropical island with waterfalls and beaches.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Minions. Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have. They go by many names. Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike. (Many minions walk across the beach, the camera pans to a reveal a nude minion.) Oh, that one is Norbert. He’s an idiot. (Norbert uses two starfishes to cover his chest as a bra. The minions continue strolling and a green two-legged creature squeaks and crushed by a giant reptilian creature’s feet, revealed to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The minions see this and they are amazed.) They’re all different, but they all share the same goal: To serve the most despicable master they could find.
Minion: BOSS!
[A T-Rex Roars at the minions, while the minions ride on the T-Rex’s Back, swooning at the minions. The T-Rex walks away and the two minions discover a banana tree next to a boulder in a large rock pile.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Making their master happy was the tribe’s very reason for existence. But that’s not to say that they didn’t have other passions.
[One minion picks a banana from the tree, Suddenly the boulder begins rolling and chases the T-Rex.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Finding a boss was easy. But keeping a boss, therein lies the rub.
[The boulder charges towards the T-Rex and the minions suddenly fall off. The T-Rex is running on the boulder while being hit by a few trees. The minions begin chasing down the T-Rex while the boulder reaches a dead end and then it stops at a cliff next to an active volcano. The T-Rex is balancing on the boulder using his foot, the minions fall and begin rolling down the hill. One minion stops at a dead end, gets up from the ground and accidentally hits the back of his head. The boulder and the T-Rex fall off the cliff and dives into the mouth of an active volcano. Suddenly, a huge burst of lava emits from the volcano which kills the T-Rex. Eventually, the minions look down and cry as they walk away. The minion slaps the other minion, much to his anger.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Nope, it wasn’t easy for these guys. But they never gave up.
[A Cave painting of a Minions who killed the T-Rex in an active volcano is seen and the camera pants to a painting of a huge fat neanderthal-like figure and a monkey.
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) With the emergence of the Stone Age came the rise of a new species. Man was very different from the dinosaur. He was shorter, hairier, and way, way smarter.
[The monkey uses a rock and bangs a flat stone. The caveman grabs the rock out of the monkey’s hands and puts it in his mouth.] A Caveman begins chewing on a rock, the monkey hollers in anger. The caveman punches the monkey, sending him flying into the air. The minions shout in excitement and a large bear appears. The Caveman is about to attack the bear by using a club, and one minion gives him the flyswatter. A caveman hits the bear with a flyswatter repeatedly and the bear gets even angrier, attacking the caveman as the minions watch in disgust.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) The Minions took an instant liking to man, and helped him the best they could. Poor man. So trusting, so fragile. So, so delicious! Their quest for a boss put the Minions front and center for some of civilization’s most historic moments. Ancient Egypt held great promise.
[?]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (CONT’D) But it didn’t last long. The Dark Ages were actually fun times. Their new master had a tendency to party all night and sleep all day. But eventually, the party was over. They bounced from one evil boss to another, but they never seemed to find their perfect fit. One particular employer took their failure very, very badly. The Minions had no other choice but to keep moving. And then, when all hope seemed lost, they found sanctuary. The Minions were safe! Years passed as the Minions forged their own civilization. They truly made a life for themselves. But something just wasn’t right. They felt empty inside. Without a master, they had no purpose. They became aimless and depressed. If this continued any longer, the Minions would perish. But all was not lost for one Minion had a plan. His name was Kevin. He was excited to share his idea with the tribe. He’d been preparing for days, weeks, months. But now he was ready. Kevin would leave the cave… …go back to the outside world, and he would not return until he had found his tribe the biggest, baddest villain to serve. But he needed help.
[Bob wants to join him]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Bob was eager to go, but Kevin felt he was just not strong enough for the dangerous journey ahead.
[Kevin refuses and calls for another minion, while Bob continues to ask for a bullet. One of the minions picks up Stuart’s hyatra.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Luckily, someone stepped up.
[Kevin takes Stuart.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Truth be told, Stuart had no idea what he was chosen for… …but was thrilled it made people cheer for him.
[Stuart begins to play his guitar, but Kevin out of the way, asks for another minion, but Bob proves that he is not weak, but strong, lifting a heavy chunk of ice. At first, Kevin did not understand, but Bob complains, and then he accepts.]
Man behind the Scenes: Eventually, Bob’s energy and enthusiasm, but mostly lack of other volunteers, changed Kevin’s mind. The tribe said their farewells. Kevin had given them something they hadn’t had in a very long time: Hope.
[Bob forgives each of them. And they leave the cave.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) Kevin felt pride. He was going to be the one to save his tribe. Stuart felt… hungry, mostly. He was going to be the one to eat this banana. And Bob… Bob was frightened of the journey ahead.
[Kevin explains to Bob that this is important for the search. If it’s true what happens to him, there’s nothing you can do.]
The Man Behind the Scenes: (voice-over) And they were off. Off to find their new boss!
Bob: Huh? Kevin!
[They’re sailing on a boat. But they’re all exhausted.]
Kevin: Huh?
[Bob is starving. Kevin turns to him, but he tells him he’s hungry. Stuart tells them there is no food.]
Stuart: Huh? Banana!
Kevin: Uh, Stuart? Macareno?
Stuart: Banana. Banana!
[He starts licking Kevin.]
Ugh! Ugh! Stuart!
Stopa!
[But Kevin will be disgusted. And he starts hitting Stewart several times. Bob is still hungry. And he starts sucking on Kevin’s head.]
Kevin: Uh, Bob! Stopa!
Huh? Oh!
Bob!
Huh?
Uh, no, no.
No, no. No, no, no.
Profiterole.
No, no, no!
Stuart…
Ah!
Oh, look at that one!
Whoa!
Peace!
Make love, not war!
Peace and love!
Boo-ya!
Boo-ya! Boo-ya!
Hey, hey, hey, oh.
Kashmiri?
– Boo-ya!
– Boo-ya! Boo-ya!
Oh.
Banana!
– Hey! Hey, taxi!
– Hey! Hey!
Oh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Banana! Hey, hey!
Stuart! Hey, oh!
Kevin!
Bob!
Oh. Bello!
Bob!
Huh? Oh.
Ah! Bob!
Huh? Whoa!
Women’s bell bottoms and tie-dye shirts marked down.
Check out our wide selection of go-go boots and miniskirts.
Bob!
Okay.
Huh?
Bob!
The store is now closing.
Hey, what are you doing?
Bob!
Give me that!
Kevin!
Oh. Oh.
Ah.
Huh?
Oh.
Oh. Hey!
…buddies.
No? Oh.
Bob! Bob!
Oh.
Oh.
Tim.
Oh!
Me Tim!
Mmm, thank you! Hmm?
…Stuart?
Uh, nah.
Okay, okay.
Oh. “Dating game.”
Okay.
And welcome back to The Dating Game!
Well, Jennifer… …have you decided which of these three gentlemen you’ll go on a date with?
Is it Bob?
Yeah! Go, Bob!
Kevin?
Kevin!
Or will it be Stuart?
Oh. Yo, Stuart!
Jennifer: Gosh! This is so hard! They all sounded so cute. Um, I think I’m gonna go with…
[?]
Stuart.
VNC!
You’re watching the top-secret
Villain Network Channel.
If you tell anyone, we’ll find you.
Huh!
Sponsored by Villain-Con, for 89 years straight, the biggest gathering of criminals anywhere!
Big boss.
Attend guest lectures from esteemed villains, make contacts in the underworld community, and for the first time anywhere, Scarlet Overkill!
Evil.
Scarlet Overkill: So evil.
Criminal genius!
Scarlet: Hey, a girl’s gotta make a living!
– Move aside, men!
Scarlet: Make way.
There’s a new bad man in town…
Scarlet: Excuse me.
…and that man is a woman! Crime isn’t pretty!
Scarlet: It’s red hot!
Get to Villain-Con this weekend. Only at 545 Orange Grove Avenue in Orlando, Florida. So much fun, it’s a crime.
Oh! Villain-Con, Orlando.
Whoo-hoo!
Bello! Uh, Orlando?
Ugh.
– Hey, uh…
– Orlando?
Oh, hello.
Orlando?
Uh-huh. Ah, okay.
Thank you, baby! Bye-bye!
Ah.
Orlando!
Hey, Stuart…
Oh, yeah! Far out!
Love is the way, brother!
Ah!
Eh, no, no, no, no, no, Kevin.
Hmm.
Hey! Stopa! Stopa! Stopa!
Stopa! Ugh!
Stuart…
Oh…
Oh, Walter, look!
These adorable little freaks are headed to Orlando, too!
Walter: Yeah, I see that! Hey, Walter Junior!
Walter Jr.: What’s happenin’?
Walter: Tina.
Tina: Hi!
Walter: Binky.
Mmm, mmm.
Walter: What do you say we give these fellows a ride?
Yay! New friends!
Walter: All aboard the Nelson Express!
Walter Jr.: You, one-eye! You’re sitting next to me!
Okay.
Stuart!
Glad we came along before some weirdos picked you up! Who wants apple slices?
Ah, ah! Ooh, ooh!
Oh, you, too! Growing boy-like creatures need their strength.
Okay.
Heck, yeah! Thanks, man!
Walter: All righty! Who needs to stretch their legs?
Yeah!
Tina: Yes! Me, me, me!
Sweet!
You guys wait here, we’ll be right back.
Walter: Okay, Nelsons, let’s do this!
Go, go, go!
Walter: Okey-dokey. On the road again.
[?]
Tina: Dad! We got company! It’s because I tripped the alarm. I stink!
Walter: Hey, we all make mistakes, sugarplum. You’re still learning.
Huh! What?
– Your father’s right, Tina.
Walter: Reload!
He wasn’t this good at being evil overnight!
Walter: Reload!
Your time’s coming.
Walter: (groans) It’s jammed!
Huh?
Okay, who did that?
– Uh… Stuart!
– Huh?
Walter: That was great!
Thank you!
Say, fellas, can we get personal for just a second? Why are you going to Orlando?
Walter: Come on. You can tell us. You’re going to Villain-Con, aren’t you?
Kevin: Si, si. Villain-Con.
Bob: (singing) Villain-Con!
Wow! So many bad guys in the car. What fun!
Walter: I knew it! I knew you were villains! Didn’t I, honey? What a small world! Hope we’re not in rival gangs. (?) Binky! Joke! Babies, huh?
Yay.
Big boss!
[?]
Tina: When we get to Orlando, I’m gonna get all my favorite villains to sign my magazine! Dumo the Sumo!
Kevin: Boss!
Tina: Oh, Kevin, you don’t wanna work for him! He ate his last henchmen!
Kevin: (winces) Uh…
Tina: Frankie Fish Lips. He lives in the ocean.
Kevin: Boss?
Tina: Oh… Can you breathe underwater?
Kevin: Uh, so-so.
Tina: Oh, oh, oh! Look at her! Scarlet Overkill! The coolest super-villain, like, ever! She started out as your average little girl, braces, pigtails… But by the time she was 13, she built a criminal empire! If I was a Minion, that’s who I’d want to work for!
Kevin: (gazes at the magazine) Oh. Scarlet Overkill…
Walter: Here we are! Beautiful Orlando!
Tina: Yeah! We’re here!
Orlando!
Walter: Hey, gang, watch this!
Woman: (through intercom) Welcome to Billy Bob’s Bait Shop. How can I help you?
Walter: Yeah, hi. Uh… We’re here for, uh, so much fun, it’s a crime.
Stuart: Whoo-hoo! (shakes Kevin) Villain-Con!
All right!
Here we go!
Walter: Well, this is it! I wanna tell you, and I really mean this. I really appreciate what you did back there with the cops. Really!
Tina: Dad! It’s Frankie Fish Lips! (sniffs) I can smell him from here!
Walter: Junior! Get my camera!
Good luck in there, boys! I hope you find what you’re looking for!
Bye!
Villain-Con!
Yeah!
Villain-Con!
Whoo!
Okay!
Oh!
[?]
Any evil talents?
Not bad.
What about you?
Any evil talents?
Bob: Uh… Bello! La, la, la! La, la, la! Eh?
That’s not evil or a talent.
Bob: (groans and rolls his eyes) Bello! Ha-ha! No?
[?]
Professor Flux’s replica: I’m sorry! But I’m not looking for any more servants, for I, Professor Flux, have invented the world’s first time machine! Every time I visit the future, I bring my future self back to help me.
Hello!
Oh.
Move that over there, Professor Flux from two weeks from now.
As you can see, I don’t need any help.
Oh, way to go, guys. We killed the original!
Please!
Eh…
Villain-Con presents our keynote speaker, Scarlet Overkill! The world’s first female super-villain! Appearing right now in Hall H!
Kevin: Bob! Stuart! Buddies! Hey!
Buddies!
Scarlet?
Kevin!
Are you ready…
Crowd: Yeah!
…for Scarlet Overkill!
[?]
Scarlet: Doesn’t it feel so good to be bad?
Scarlet! Scarlet!
Scarlet! Yes!
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoa.
Whoo-hoo!
Awesome!
Yeah!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Wow! Thank you!
Scarlet!
Scarlet!
Thank you so much!
Okay.
Ah.
Scarlet: When I started out, people said a woman could never rob a bank as well as a man! Well, times change!
I love you, Scarlet!
Scarlet: Look at all those faces out there! We are all so different! But we have one thing in common.
Frankie Fishlips: We were born with flippers! No? Just me? Okay. (sits down)
Scarlet: We have big dreams! And we will do anything to make them come true! Have any of you ever dreamt of working for the greatest super-villain of all time?
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
Scarlet: Well, what if I were to tell you that I am looking for new henchmen?
Hey, boss! Boss!
Scarlet: I truly believe somewhere out there is a villain with the potential to serve greatness! And it could be any of you.
Kevin: (gazing at Scarlet) Whoa!
Scarlet: Although, let’s not kid ourselves. Truly, the only men for this job are Kevin and his Minions!
Kevin: Huh? But… But…
Scarlet: Ten times the evil in half the package! I am just in awe! Let’s hear it for Kevin. He saved his tribe!
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
Kevin! Kevin!
Stuart: Kevin… Hey! Kevin. Hey. Hey! (smacks Kevin, snapping him out of his trance)
Kevin: Argh!
Scarlet: So, how should we do this? Hmm. Oh. You see this tiny little trinket? (reveals a ruby) Well, just take it from my hand and you’ve got the job. No big deal, it’s almost too simple.
Uh…
Scarlet: Oh, come on! Don’t be afraid. Just take the stone and get that job! Come on!
Oh, okay.
…Boss!
That job is mine!
Ooh!
Now go easy on me.
Whoops!
Love the costume!
Ha!
Uh…
So cool!
Tim? Tim!
Uh…
Oh, no, Bob!
Ah! Tim! Tim!
Scarlet: Is no one good enough?
Bob!
I got it!
I got it!
Ah!
Scarlet: Didn’t my speech inspire anyone to rise up and prove themselves worthy? All these villains and yet I still have the bear. Stuffed bear! Why am I holding a bear? Who has the ruby?
[?]
Scarlet: Wow! Who… Who are you, my knights in shining denim?
…Stuart.
…Bob.
Minions!
Scarlet: That was incredible! (to the crowd) Behold! The last creatures you’d expect to win the day have emerged victorious! Everyone, meet my new henchmen: the Minions!
Kumbaya!
Kumbaya! Kumbaya!
Kumbaya!
Walter: Hey! I know those guys! I gave them a ride here! Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
[?]
Scarlet: Buckle up, boys! Next stop: England.
Oh…
Bello?
Hey, Kevin! Eh?
Boss? In England?
Nah, Boss!
Ah, uh… Bello, Kevin?
…England?
– Uh-huh.
– …Boss?
Scarlet Popapil. Ah.
– Bello? Bello!
– Bello?
Oh!
Wow!
Ah!
Scarlet: Here we go! There. By the way, I really like your bear.
Herb! My baby!
You know I am!
Herb Overkill: How’d it go? Were you evil?
Scarlet: So evil!
Herb: Oh! A little bird dropped this off today. “H”. It’s me, I’m the “H.” Also, there was no bird. Also me.
Scarlet: Herb, seriously, I wanna dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it!
Ah, that works out because I love…
Well, I love… too.
Ah, the love, ah!
Oh! Oh, ah.
Oh, boys, could you come here, please?
Meet my husband, Herb.
Inventor, super genius, fox.
Herb, these are the new recruits.
Kevin, Stuart, and that cute little one is Bob.
Hey, bello!
Right on!
You guys are crazy little and way yellow, and I dig that!
Sweet, man!
Ah, ah.
Whoa!
Scarlet: I know, right?
Ah!
Scarlet: Just a few things I stole to help fill the void.
Stuart: Whoa! …mega ukulele!
Herb: Checkin’ out my can? We stole that because finally someone expressed my love of soup in painting form.
Wow!
Ooh!
Scarlet: Okay, listen up! It is time to get down to business. Do you know who this is?
Kevin: Uh… la cucaracha?
Scarlet: This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. Oh, I love England. The music, the fashion. I’m seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday.
Ooh!
Scarlet: Anyway, this pale drink of water oversees it all. I’m her biggest fan, love her work! And I really, really, really want her crown. Steal me the crown and all your dreams come true. Respect! Power!
Stuart: Banana!
Scarlet: Banana!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Ha!
Henry!
…England. Uh…
…England…
Oh, uh…
Hmm.
Heh.
– Wow!
– Whoa.
Ooh-la-la.
No!
Oh, no.
Herb: Don’t get too close, boys. When it’s completed, it’ll be my ultimate weapon. But right now, it’s leaking radiation like you would not believe! So, you’re here for gear.
Whoa!
Herb: Bob, Robert, Bobby, my boy. You get my far-out stretch suit.
Bob: Wow!
Herb: Kevin, Kev-bo, Seventh Kevin, you are the proud owner of my lava lamp gun.
Kevin: Ah?
Herb: This baby shoots actual lava!
Kevin: Ooh!
Herb: Pretty cool, right? (to Stuart) And finally, Stu. Stu-art, Stu-perman, Beef Stu. I got you the coolest invention, probably ever.
Stuart: Oh.
Herb: Hypno-hat!
Uh, oh.
Uh…
Herb: You can use it to hypnotize anyone. Anyone!
Scarlet: Oh, you look so great! I feel like a proud mama with three dashing evil sons.
Uh, Scarlet, Scarlet…
Scarlet: No, no. Don’t say anything. I won’t understand. It’s getting late. You’ve had a big day, you must be exhausted!
Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing…
Herb: Wow! These cats are pumped!
Scarlet: Well, maybe I’ll settle them down with a bedtime story?
Ha-ha!
Scarlet: How does that sound, Bob? Bob. Bob! Bob!
Bob: (stops jumping) Oh! Bedtime porry?
Herb: That is a groovy idea! I’ll go get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun!
Bob: …bedtime porry?
Scarlet: Oh, yes, I’ve got a really, really good bedtime porry. (voice-over) Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf… …who had a wonderful surprise for them! The wolf offered the three piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy! All the three little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned. But that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves a princess! So the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown. But the little pigs weren’t up to the challenge. They failed their mission. So the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the earth!
Yo, po, po!
Scarlet: The end. Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you won’t disappoint me.
Um.
Okay.
…Scarlet.
Which way is the loo, please?
Hmm.
Oh, thank you.
Ah.
Kevin: Bello. Uh… tres, please.
You’re not allowed in without an adult. Scram, hooligans!
Oh.
Uh, mm.
Ooh…
Oh, la…
Stuart…
How many tickets, please?
Bob: Tres, please.
Kevin: Uno, please. Uno!
Enjoy yourself, love.
Bob: Thank you!
It was nowhere near Hyde Park!
Bob’s your uncle.
Huh, hmm.
Okay.
Okay.
Huh? Ah!
He-hey.
Okay.
Hey! What are you doing here?
Kevin:
This is a restricted area! Hands in the air!
No…
Stop that!
Get back.
Yay!
Ah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Bob, Stuart…
So…
Crown Keeper: So, you came for the Queen’s crown, did you? Well, you’re gonna have to get through me! The Keeper of the Crown!
[?]
Kevin: Ow!
Crown Keeper: Hey! You think it’s funny to mock the elderly, do you?
Kevin: Uh… si?
Crown Keeper: I’ve been up here for decades, just waiting for someone to try and steal the Queen’s treasure!
Okay.
Crown Keeper: What are you saying? Never mind, don’t care!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, you don’t!
Oh, flippin’ heck!
What’s goin’ on?
Kevin: Bob… bra cage!
Eh… Hmm.
Wow.
Hello!
Huh?
Hello!
Stone the crows!
Stop him, lads!
Wait!
Go for the legs!
Gordon Bennett!
Kevin!
The Queen’s been kidnapped, Sarge!
Sarge: Blimey!
Hyah! Hyah!
Ooh!
Ha! Boo-ya!
Huh. Hyah! Hyah!
What’s going on?
Bello!
Oh, my goodness!
– Whoa!
– Ha-ha!
No!
Queen of England: Gentlemen do not steal ladies’ crowns!
Huh? Hmm?
Huh?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, dear!
Ah! Ahhh!
Yeah!
Queen of England: You scoundrel! After them!
Uh-oh.
Stop the blighter!
Go on, grab him!
Huh?
Huh? Oh.
Cor, blimey!
News Anchor: One of England’s most famous myths has become a reality as a new king has been crowned. Bob, who appears to be a bald, jaundiced child, has pulled the famed sword right from its stone, which, legend dictates, makes him the new king.
Scarlet: (angrily spits out her coffee) Tiny yellow traitor!
England!
England! England!
England!
England! England!
England! England…
Ha, ha!
Bello!
Bello!
Cut!
Hey, Bob.
Hello, King Bob.
Uh…
Welcome to Buckingham Palace.
Bob: Uh, no. (closes the car door)
Oh, what’s the matter, your Majesty? Whatever’s bothering you, we can make it right. Just name it!
Oh.
Buddies!
Buddies! Buddies!
Buddies!
Oh.
Uh…
King Bob!
Long live the king!
King Bob!
…Bob…
…King…
So…
King Bob!
(The crowd rejoices again, he drops the microphone, leaves the balcony. Finally, they begin to enjoy life in Buckingham Palace.)
Oh… Yeah!
King Bob! Wait!
– Wow!
– Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh…
(A royal adviser notices King Bob riding the stairs at Buckingham Palace.)
Yee-haw!
King Bob!
(Kevin sits on a Corgi, playing polo at Buckingham Palace.)
Hyah!
plays polo, rides a Corgi.
Kevin: YAKITORI!
(Corgi howls and jumps and barks, along with Kevin, escape from the frame, a group of athletes polo players, also plays with him, corgis run after them, running across the room. One of the Athletes drags the corgi on the floor.)
Hmm? Huh! Ah!
Yes, King Bob. Oh.
King Bob?
King Bob?
Ah, Claire.
Mmm, Tiffany.
Rawr!
(Stuart kisses them. In one of the comedians at Buckingham Palace, the artist paints him a portrait of King Bob, Stewart plays his guitar, Kevin plays cricket with the royal Corgi.)
Kevin: Ball! (throws the ball through the door for the corgi)
Scarlet: (appears, with a huge gun) How dare you!
[The ball hits Scarlet in the eye, Corgi also attacks, stands up, seething with anger, she holds corgi, which she licks in his face. Scarlet abandons the Corgi, the artist flees the room, the corgi cries.]
Kevin: (relieved) Scarlet!
Scarlet: Don’t you “Scarlet” me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb’s invention to steal my crown?! (points the gun at Kevin)
Herb: (disappointed) I feel used. Not gonna lie.
Scarlet: You stole my dream! I was going to conquer England someday! There was gonna be a coronation, and I was going to be made Queen. Every moment was planned. I’d wear a dress so sparkly, it glowed! And everyone who ever doubted me would be watching, and they would be crying! I was going to be the picture of elegance and class, and you pinheads screwed it up!
No, no, no!
No, no, no, King Bob!
You cannot just abdicate the throne!
Herb: (to Scarlet) Who invited the square?
And you definitely cannot just give the job to this woman! There are laws!
Boss.
…Boss.
…Scarlet Popapil!
King Bob has officially changed the law, clearing the way for Scarlet Overkill to be crowned Queen of England!
She will be coronated at London’s historic Westminster Abbey.
If I wasn’t so polite, I’d say this spells certain doom for the country, if not the world.
But I’m so very polite that I shall keep my mouth shut.
But, seriously, we’re all in big trouble.
Scarlet! Scarlet!
I don’t have time to answer any questions.
I just want to thank the Minions for going above and beyond the call of duty.
You are three tiny, golden… pill-shaped miracle workers, and you have stolen not just England but my heart.
Scarlet, over here!
Pardon me?
Eh?
Wow! So many!
Good for you!
Well, you’ll all get what you deserve.
Serve!
…serve!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Uh…
Uh…
I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, but I hate you.
I thought I could get over what you did, but I feel so betrayed.
I think…
Yes, I think we’re gonna have to break up.
And it’s not you.
Wait, hold on.
It is you. It’s 100% you!
No, no.
So get comfortable, Minions.
Get real, real comfortable.
Because this is where you’re going to spend the rest of your worthless little lives.
All right!
Let’s do this!
Herb!
Who’s this handsome “Herb” fella?
No, my name is “Blerb.”
I’m a dungeon master.
Prepare for torture, which I do!
All right, are we comfy?
Doesn’t matter! This is torture!
– Huh.
– Oh.
Wow! Harder than I thought.
Next machine!
Oh, welcome to Hang Town!
Population, you!
Oh.
Whoo-hoo!
Cut it out! This is really unprofessional!
There’s no laughing in the dungeon!
I wanna see tears and I wanna hear screams, or I’m gonna get… Wait!
Hey!
Ooh! I’ve got a groovy idea!
Ah!
Look at this!
Argh!
Hello!
Will the future king, Herb Overkill, please come upstairs to prepare for the coronation?
Well, I hope you learned your lesson for today.
And by the way, it was me,
Herb, the whole time!
I don’t even know anyone named “Blerb”!
Uh, Herb…
Oh. Huh.
I am hours away from becoming the Queen of England!
I know! It’s a gas!
I will finally get my crown.
Yeah.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
I’m going to be so happy.
But let me ask you something, Fabrice.
Does that look like this to you?
Mrs. Overkill, the hair in that picture,
it’s just two wavy lines!
Oh, so, what, now you’re an art critic?
I drew that when I was five years old!
Get out of my sight!
Bye, Fabrice!
I liked him. He was fun.
So, what do you think of the dress?
Oh, it’s so beautiful.
So fashion-forward. So Valentino.
Gave it a sweetheart neckline because you’re my sweetheart.
The high collar and cinched waist reflect a simpler, more violent time.
The material is a blend of taffeta and high-density body armor.
Fully armed and loaded.
And that glow, that’s nuclear.
Nice. Just one more thing to do.
Gotta look good for the public.
Ugh.
Do you mind?
My pleasure.
Little tighter, sweetie.
Come on, I can take it.
Little tighter.
Tighter!
Must have tiny waist.
Seeing stars, seeing stars!
Losing feeling in my legs. Perfect!
Tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it.
Huh?
Ah. Bob! Stuart!
Eh?
– Ooh! Bello!
– Ooh-ooh!
Ah! Oh.
Ah.
Huh!
Ah.
– Eh, eh, Kevin…
– …Scarlet.
Ah!
“Porry Scarlet.”
– He, he!
– …Boss.
Oh.
Ah, okay!
Huh?
I love you, Scarlet!
Queen wave, queen wave!
Queen waving!
– I am so, so excited!
– This is perfect!
Everyone looks so nice!
Oh! Oh, you are just adorable!
Oh, yes!
And that music, oh!
Who is that organist? She is good!
Right? She looks like an Edna.
Edna, you are very good!
Who was that? Whoa!
Thanks for doing this, padre.
Big fan. Uh-huh.
Come here, let me squeeze you!
Oh, you are so squishy!
…Scarlet.
Go, go, Go!
Ouch! Ouch!
…sayonara!
Ciao…
Bob…
Stuart!
Aww! Oo-ooh!
Okay!
Oh! Beh…
Will you to your power cause law and justice…
…Popapil!
Oh!
Ah…
Hmm? Ah…
Huh? Uh… Uh…
Stopa!
Bah!
In mercy…
No, no, no!
Do you, Scarlet Overkill…
Yeah!
Huh? Oh?
No!
Uh, mmm…
…Bob.
I proclaim thee,
Scarlet Overkill, the Queen of England!
Oh! Huh?
Kevin!
Huh?
Scarlet! Scarlet, my queen?
Somebody help me!
Come on, come on!
Lift on two. One, two!
One, two!
Huh?
Scarlet! You’re okay!
He tried to kill me!
Uh, no…
Villains, this is no longer a coronation!
It is an execution!
Get them!
Whoa, Nelly!
Run, fellas, run!
Come back here, you!
Ah!
Uh?
Hyah!
Aah!
You’re mine!
Stuart, Bob! Uh…
Oops!
Oh!
Hey! I got one!
Tim!
Huh?
Oh? Aww! Oh!
Uh? Eh?
Tim!
Stuart! Bob!
Buddies!
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap!
Mind the gap! Mind the gap!
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap!
He won’t get away!
He won’t escape us!
Huh?
What about this one?
Why did the queen go to the dentist?
To get her teeth crowned.
Heh!
Tell us another one, Lizzy!
Uh, uh…
– Bello!
– Oh!
It’s you.
Everyone, this is one of the little fellows who stole the monarchy from me.
And how’s that working out for you?
Uh, Scarlet…
Oh, yes, yes, I saw what was going on on the telly.
Uh, telly?
What was meant to be the coronation of
Scarlet Overkill has gone terribly wrong as…
Move!
Kevin, Kevin,
I know you’re out there.
You think you’ve gotten away?
Well, what do we have here?
Bello!
Oh, my goodness!
Bob? Stuart?
Which one shall I kill first?
Little Bob? Stuart?
Bob! Stuart!
I will do it, Kevin, if you are not back here by dawn!
Oh, my!
No!
…buddies!
…Scarlet.
There he is!
Follow me!
Ah! Ha-haa!
Who the man, eh?
Uh… Oh!
Oh.
Harder! It’s just my head.
Oh, no!
This way! Let’s get him!
Go, go, go!
No!
Huh?
Spita, spita, Ahh, kannonball!
Oh.
Huh?
Ultimate weapon initiated.
Activation in three, two, one.
Bello.
Huh? …buddies!
This is it, boys!
Things do not look good for you.
Oh, and I’m keeping the bear.
Tim!
You’re not gonna need him where you’re going.
Heaven.
Huh? Uh… Aah!
Shoosh, shoosh, shoosh, shoosh! Oh!
Huh? Ah!
Bye-bye. Say bye-bye,
Bob. Bye-bye!
Ha ha ha! Prome mackorov
Spibanetemotis!
Huh?
Oh, whoa!
Wait, what? How did he…
Hold my bear.
Huh?
Yippee! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Kevin!
Labato, Labato,
Labato?
So, that’s your plan?
Make yourself a bigger target?
Huh?
K-K-Kevin? Hey!
…Kevin!
Whoa!
Ow!
And so help me, I never wanna see another one of your goofy, bug-eyed faces ever again!
Scarlet!
Scarlet! Scarlet! What?
Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!
Oh no, you don’t!
Whoa!
And just for the record, my little deviled eggs, you can thank Kevin for what I’m about to do to you!
Ow! Ow!
Bob!
Stuart! Buddies!
Tony!
Tom!
Chris!
You the man!
Buddies! Mazel tov.
Ugh! Ew!
Ooh! Aah! Kevin! Kevin!
Enough! This ends now!
Kevin!
You imbecile!
Have fun exploding!
Baby!
What’s the rush?
Got to get out of here!
Let us go!
No, no, no, no!
Kevin!
Kevin…
Huh?
Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo!
Ooh!
Stuart?
Hmm.
Bob?
Okay.
(The crowd cheers for Kevin, Stuart, and Bob as they walk toward the stage of Buckingham Palace, where they see Queen Elizabeth, with er crown and throne back.)
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are here today to celebrate the Minions!
(The crowd rejoices, the Athletes in the game polo corgi, stand and hold their corgis dogs, The corgis are breathing, one of the players is holding the Corgi incorrectly. One of the minions rejoices, one of the Royal’s corgis licks his tongue. And he spits. Corgi continues to breathe.)
Huh!
The country owes you a great debt of gratitude.
Bob, you were a wise and noble king for all of eight hours.
So for you, I offer this tiny crown for your teddy bear, Tim.
Oh, very good, Bob!
Oh, spectacular!
I’m so proud of you boys!
Oh, Stuart.
For you, I have this beautiful, super-duper, incredible…
Ah!
…snow globe!
Eh? Poglobe?
Uh, ze…
And look, look, hours of excitement!
Oh, uh…
Yippee.
Uh, eh, gracias.
Stuart, we’re just messing with you!
Don’t be mad at me, it was Kevin’s idea.
Kevin!
We have a much better surprise for you!
…super mega ukulele!
Uh… Wow!
…poglobe.
Thank you.
Right. Uh…
And finally, Kevin!
You are a hero of the highest order.
For your bravery and valor,
I am knighting you.
From here on out, you are Sir Kevin.
Well done.
What a beautiful moment!
Kumbaya!
Kumbaya!
The nation, nay, the world was celebrating Kevin, Stuart and Bob.
The last few thousand years were rough, no question, but things were finally going their way!
Kevin had never been more proud.
But something was missing.
Yes, good show, good show!
My crown is gone! It’s gone!
Blimey!
She’s lost the crown!
Oh, my days!
Scarlet?
Scarlet! Hey!
…Scarlet! Hey!
They took everything from me!
My castle! My reputation!
Things look bleak, baby, I’m not gonna lie!
But now at least I have my crown!
Child, give me that back.
No, I don’t think so!
You have no idea who you’re messing with!
I am the greatest super-villain of all time!
Oh!
Were you?
B… B… Buddies…
Ah!
…Boss! Ha, ha!
Get back! Are you really going to allow that little penguin to make off with my crown?
Herb.
I’m done.
For me?
Bye-bye!
Big boss!
And that is how the Minions found their new boss. He was cunning, he was evil, he was perfect. He was despicable.
JOHNNYS MOM
johnny come eat your dinner
hi not johnny
Minions.
Minions have been on this
planet far longer than we have.
They go by many names.
Dave, Carl, Paul, Mike.
Oh, that one is Norbert.
He’s an idiot.
They’re all differ
but they all share the same goal.
To serve the most despicable
master they could find.
Boss!
Making their master happy was the
tribe’s very reason for existence.
But that’s not to say that they
didn’t have other passions.
Huh?
Finding a boss was easy.
But keeping a boss,
therein lies the rub.
Nope,
it wasn’t easy for these guys.
But they never gave up.
With the emergence
of the Stone Age
came the rise of a new species.
Man was very different
from the dinosaur.
He was shorter, hairier,
and way, way smarter.
The Minions took
an instant liking to man,
and helped him
the best they could.
Oh, no, no.
Eh?
Poor man.
So trusting, so fragile.
So, so delicious!
Their quest for a boss put
the Minions front and center
for some of civilization’s
most historic moments.
Anubis!
Ancient Egypt
held great promise.
Okay! Pancake!
But it didn’t last long.
Hmm. Oh!
Ow!
The Dark Ages were
actually fun times.
Their new master had a tendency
to party all night
and sleep all day.
Ooh!
Oh.
But eventually,
the party was over.
They bounced from
one evil boss to another,
but they never seemed
to find their perfect fit.
One particular employer took
their failure very, very badly.
Huh?
The Minions had no other
choice but to keep moving.
Oh.
And then,
when all hope seemed lost,
they found sanctuary.
The Minions were safe!
Years passed as the Minions
forged their own civilization.
They truly made
a life for themselves.
But something just wasn’t right.
They felt empty inside.
Without a master,
they had no purpose.
They became aimless
and depressed.
If this continued any longer,
the Minions would perish.
But all was not lost
for one Minion had a plan.
His name was Kevin.
He was excited to share
his idea with the tribe.
He’d been preparing
for days, weeks, months.
But now he was ready.
Buddies!
Kevin would leave the cave…
…go back
to the outside world,
and he would not return
until he had found his tribe
the biggest,
baddest villain to serve.
But he needed help.
Me!
Bob was eager to go,
but Kevin felt he was
just not strong enough
for the dangerous journey ahead.
Uh, no.
Luckily, someone stepped up.
Stuart!
Huh? Me, me?
Oh! Thank you.
Truth be told, Stuart had
no idea what he was chosen for…
…but was thrilled it
made people cheer for him.
Thank you.
Me!
Eh, okay.
Eventually,
Bob’s energy and enthusiasm,
but mostly lack of other volunteers,
changed Kevin’s mind.
The tribe said their farewells.
Kevin had given them something they
hadn’t had in a very long time.
Hope.
Bob!
Hey, Tony!
Tom…
Chris…
Hey, Bob.
Oh.
Bye-bye.
Kevin felt pride.
He was going to be
the one to save his tribe.
Stuart felt hungry mostly.
He was going to be the one
to eat this banana.
And Bob…
Bob was frightened
of the journey ahead.
Ah. Okay.
Okay. Okay.
And they were off.
Off to find their new boss!
Huh? Kevin!
Huh?
Huh? Banana!
Uh, Stuart?
Banana. Banana!
Ugh! Ugh! Stuart!
Stopa!
Uh, Bob! Stopa!
Huh? Oh!
Bob!
Huh?
Uh, no, no.
No, no. No, no, no.
Profiterole.
No, no, no!
Stuart…
Ah!
Oh, look at that one!
Whoa!
Peace!
Make love, not war!
Peace and love!
Boo-ya!
Boo-ya! Boo-ya!
Hey, hey, hey, oh.
Kashmiri?
– Boo-ya!
– Boo-ya! Boo-ya!
Oh.
Banana!
– Hey! Hey, taxi!
– Hey! Hey!
Oh.
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Banana! Hey, hey!
Stuart! Hey, oh!
Kevin!
Bob!
Oh. Bello!
Bob!
Huh? Oh.
Ah! Bob!
Huh? Whoa!
Women’s bell bottoms
and tie-dye shirts marked down.
Check out our wide selection
of go-go boots and miniskirts.
Bob!
Okay.
Huh?
Bob!
The store is now closing.
Hey, what are you doing?
Bob!
Give me that!
Kevin!
Oh. Oh.
Ah.
Huh?
Oh.
Oh. Hey!
…buddies.
No? Oh.
Bob! Bob!
Oh.
Oh.
Tim.
Oh!
Me Tim!
Mmm, thank you! Hmm?
…Stuart?
Uh, nah.
Okay, okay.
Oh. “Dating game.”
Okay.
And welcome back
to The Dating Game!
Well, Jennifer…
…have you decided
which of these three gentlemen
you’ll go on a date with?
Is it Bob?
Yeah! Go, Bob!
Kevin?
Kevin!
Or will it be Stuart?
Oh. Yo, Stuart!
Gosh! This is so hard!
They all sounded so cute.
Um, I think I’m gonna go with…
Stuart.
VNC!
You’re watching the top-secret
Villain Network Channel.
If you tell anyone,
we’ll find you.
Huh!
Sponsored by Villain-Con,
for 89 years straight,
the biggest
gathering of criminals anywhere!
Big boss.
Attend guest lectures
from esteemed villains,
make contacts in
the underworld community,
and for the first time anywhere,
Scarlet Overkill!
Evil.
So evil.
Criminal genius!
Hey, a girl’s gotta
make a living!
– Move aside, men!
– Make way.
There’s a new bad man in
town… SCARLET: Excuse me.
…and that man is a woman!
Crime isn’t pretty!
It’s red hot!
Get to Villain-Con
this weekend.
Only at 545 Orange Grove Avenue in Orlando,
Florida.
So much fun, it’s a crime.
Oh! Villain-Con, Orlando.
Whoo-hoo!
Bello! Uh, Orlando?
Ugh.
– Hey, uh…
– Orlando?
Oh, hello.
Orlando?
Uh-huh. Ah, okay.
Thank you, baby! Bye-bye!
Ah.
Orlando!
Hey, Stuart…
Oh, yeah! Far out!
Love is the way, brother!
Ah!
Eh, no, no, no, no, no, Kevin.
Hmm.
Hey! Stopa! Stopa! Stopa!
Stopa! Ugh!
Stuart…
Oh…
Oh, Walter, look!
These adorable little freaks
are headed to Orlando, too!
Yeah, I see that!
Hey, Walter Junior!
What’s happenin’?
Tina.
Hi!
Binky.
Mmm, mmm.
What do you say we give
these fellows a ride?
Yay! New friends!
All aboard the Nelson Express!
You, one-eye!
You’re sitting next to me!
Okay.
Stuart!
Glad we came along before
some weirdos picked you up!
Who wants apple slices?
Ah, ah! Ooh, ooh!
Oh, you, too!
Growing boy-like creatures
need their strength.
Okay.
Heck, yeah!
Thanks, man!
All righty! Who needs
to stretch their legs?
Yeah!
Yes! Me, me, me!
Sweet!
You guys wait here, we’ll be right back.
Okay, Nelsons, let’s do this!
Go, go, go!
Okey-dokey. On the road again.
Dad! We got company!
It’s because I tripped
the alarm. I stink!
Hey, we all make mistakes, sugarplum.
You’re still learning.
Huh! What?
– Your father’s right, Tina.
– Reload!
He wasn’t this good
at being evil overnight!
Reload!
Your time’s coming.
It’s jammed!
Huh?
Okay, who did that?
– Uh… Stuart!
– Huh?
That was great!
Thank you!
Say, fellas,
can we get personal for just a second?
Why are you going to Orlando?
Come on. You can tell us.
You’re going to Villain-Con, aren’t you?
Villain-Con.
Villain-Con.
Wow! So many bad guys
in the car. What fun!
I knew it! I knew you were villains!
Didn’t I, honey?
What a small world!
Hope we’re not in rival gangs.
Binky! Joke!
Babies, huh?
Yay.
Big boss!
When we get to Orlando,
I’m gonna get all my favorite
villains to sign my magazine!
Dumo the Sumo!
Boss!
Oh, Kevin, you don’t wanna work for him!
He ate his last henchmen!
Uh…
Frankie Fish Lips.
He lives in the ocean.
Boss?
Oh…
Can you breathe underwater?
Uh, so-so.
Oh, oh, oh!
Look at her!
Scarlet Overkill!
The coolest super-villain,
like, ever!
She started out as your average
little girl, braces, pigtails.
But by the time she was 13,
she built a criminal empire!
If I was a Minion,
that’s who I’d want to work for!
Oh.
Here we are!
Beautiful Orlando!
Yeah! We’re here!
Orlando!
Hey, gang, watch this!
Welcome to Billy
Bob’s Bait Shop. How can I help you?
Yeah, hi.
Uh…
We’re here for, uh,
so much fun, it’s a crime.
Whoo-hoo!
Villain-Con!
All right!
Here we go!
Well, this is it!
I wanna tell you, and I really mean this.
I really appreciate what you did
back there with the cops.
Really!
Dad!
It’s Frankie Fish Lips!
I can smell him from here!
Junior!
Get my camera!
Good luck in there, boys!
I hope you find what
you’re looking for!
Bye!
Villain-Con!
Yeah!
Villain-Con!
Whoo!
Okay!
Oh!
Any evil talents?
Not bad.
What about you?
Any evil talents?
Uh…
Bello! La, la, la!
La, la, la!
Eh?
That’s not evil or a talent.
Bello!
Ha-ha!
No?
I’m sorry!
But I’m not looking for any more servants,
for I, Professor Flux,
have invented
the world’s first time machine!
Every time I visit the future,
I bring my future self back to help me.
Hello!
Oh.
Move that over there,
Professor Flux from two weeks from now.
As you can see,
I don’t need any help.
Oh, way to go, guys.
We killed the original!
Please!
Eh…
Villain-Con presents our keynote speaker,
Scarlet Overkill!
The world’s first
female super-villain!
Appearing right now in Hall H!
Bob! Stuart! Buddies! Hey!
Buddies!
Scarlet?
Kevin!
Are you ready…
Yeah!
…for Scarlet Overkill!
Doesn’t it feel
so good to be bad?
Scarlet! Scarlet!
Scarlet! Yes!
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo!
Whoa.
Whoo-hoo!
Awesome!
Yeah!
Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!
Wow! Thank you!
Scarlet!
Scarlet!
Thank you so much!
Okay.
Ah.
When I started out,
people said a woman
could never rob
a bank as well as a man!
Well, times change!
I love you, Scarlet!
Look at all those
faces out there!
We are all so different!
But we have one thing in common.
We were born with flippers!
No? Just me? Okay.
We have big dreams!
And we will do anything
to make them come true!
Have any of you ever dreamt
of working for the greatest
super-villain of all time?
Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
Well, what if I were to tell you
that I am looking
for new henchmen?
Hey, boss! Boss!
I truly believe
somewhere out there
is a villain with the
potential to serve greatness!
And it could be any of you.
Whoa!
Although,
let’s not kid ourselves.
Truly, the only men for this
job are Kevin and his Minions!
– Huh? But… But…
– Ten times the evil
in half the package!
I am just in awe!
Let’s hear it for Kevin.
He saved his tribe!
Kevin! Kevin! Kevin!
Kevin! Kevin!
Kevin… Hey! Kevin. Hey. Hey!
Argh!
So, how should we
do this? Hmm.
Oh.
You see this
tiny little trinket?
Well, just take it from my hand
and you’ve got the job.
No big deal,
it’s almost too simple.
Uh…
Oh, come on!
Don’t be afraid.
Just take the stone and get that job!
Come on!
Oh, okay.
…Boss!
That job is mine!
Ooh!
Now go easy on me.
Whoops!
Love the costume!
Ha!
Uh…
So cool!
Tim? Tim!
Uh…
Oh, no, Bob!
Ah! Tim! Tim!
Is no one good enough?
Bob!
I got it!
I got it!
Ah!
Didn’t my speech inspire anyone
to rise up and
prove themselves worthy?
All these villains and
yet I still have the bear.
Stuffed bear!
Why am I holding a bear?
Who has the ruby?
Wow! Who…
Who are you, my knights in shining denim?
…Stuart.
…Bob.
Minions!
That was incredible!
Behold! The last
creatures you’d expect
to win the day have emerged victorious!
– Everyone, meet my new henchmen.
– The Minions!
Kumbaya!
Kumbaya! Kumbaya!
Kumbaya!
Hey! I know those guys!
I gave them a ride here!
Whoo-hoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Buckle up, boys!
Next stop, England.
Oh…
Bello?
Hey, Kevin! Eh?
Boss? In England?
Nah, Boss!
Ah, uh… Bello, Kevin?
…England?
– Uh-huh.
– …Boss?
Scarlet Popapil. Ah.
– Bello? Bello!
– Bello?
Oh!
Wow!
Ah!
Here we go! There.
By the way,
I really like your bear.
Herb! My baby!
You know I am!
How’d it go?
Were you evil?
So evil!
Oh!
A little bird dropped
this off today.
It’s me,
I’m the “H.”
Also, there was no bird.
Also me.
Herb, seriously,
I wanna dig up that William Shakespeare
so he can see
what true writing is.
I love it!
Ah, that works out because I love…
Well, I love… too.
Ah, the love, ah!
Oh! Oh, ah.
Oh, boys,
could you come here, please?
Meet my husband, Herb.
Inventor, super genius, fox.
Herb, these are
the new recruits.
Kevin, Stuart, and that
cute little one is Bob.
Hey, bello!
Right on!
You guys are crazy little and way yellow,
and I dig that!
Sweet, man!
Ah, ah.
Whoa!
I know, right?
Ah!
Just a few things I
stole to help fill the void.
Whoa!
…mega ukulele!
Checkin’ out my can?
We stole that
because finally someone
expressed my love of
soup in painting form.
Wow!
Ooh!
Okay, listen up!
It is time to get down to business.
Do you know who this is?
Uh…
This is Queen Elizabeth,
ruler of England.
Oh, I love England.
The music, the fashion.
I’m seriously thinking about
overthrowing it someday.
Ooh!
Anyway,
this pale drink of water oversees it all.
I’m her biggest fan,
love her work!
And I really, really,
really want her crown.
Steal me the crown
and all your dreams come true.
Respect! Power!
Banana!
Banana!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Ha!
Henry!
…England. Uh…
…England…
Oh, uh…
Hmm.
Heh.
– Wow!
– Whoa.
Ooh-la-la.
No!
Oh, no.
Don’t get too close, boys.
When it’s completed,
it’ll be my ultimate weapon.
But right now, it’s leaking radiation
like you would not believe!
So, you’re here for gear.
Whoa!
Bob, Robert, Bobby, my boy.
You get
my far-out stretch suit.
Wow!
Kevin, Kev-bo,
Seventh Kevin,
you are the proud owner
of my lava lamp gun.
Ah?
This baby shoots actual lava!
Ooh!
Pretty cool, right?
And finally, Stu. Stu-art,
Stu-perman, Beef Stu.
I got you the coolest invention,
probably ever.
Oh.
Hypno-hat!
Uh, oh.
Uh…
You can use it to
hypnotize anyone. Anyone!
Oh, you look so great!
I feel like a proud mama
with three
dashing evil sons.
Uh, Scarlet, Scarlet…
No, no. Don’t say anything.
I won’t understand.
It’s getting late. You’ve had a
big day, you must be exhausted!
Boing, boing, boing,
boing, boing…
Wow! These cats
are pumped!
Well, maybe I’ll settle them
down with a bedtime story?
Ha-ha!
How does that sound, Bob?
Bob. Bob! Bob!
Oh! Bedtime porry?
That is a groovy idea!
I’ll go get some cookies and warm milk.
This is gonna be so fun!
…bedtime porry.
Oh, yes, I’ve got a really,
really good bedtime porry.
Once upon a time,
there were three little pigs.
One fateful day, the pigs
encountered a big, bad wolf…
…who had a wonderful
surprise for them!
The wolf offered the three
piggies and all their friends
a job working for her.
Everyone would be so happy!
All the three
little piggies had to do
was just steal one little crown
that the beautiful wolf
had wanted
ever since she was
a penniless little street cub,
unloved and abandoned.
But that crown would mean
she was a princess,
and everybody loves a princess!
So the wolf sent the piggies
to get that crown.
But the little pigs
weren’t up to the challenge.
They failed their mission.
So the wolf huffed and puffed, and she
blew them off the face of the earth!
Yo, po, po!
The end.
Good luck getting that crown tomorrow,
little piggies.
I know you won’t disappoint me.
Um.
Okay.
…Scarlet.
Which way is the loo, please?
Hmm.
Oh, thank you.
Ah.
Bello.
– Uh…
– …please.
You’re not allowed in without an adult.
Scram, hooligans!
Oh.
Uh, mm.
Ooh…
Oh, la…
Stuart…
How many tickets, please?
…please.
…please.
Enjoy yourself, love.
Thank you!
It was nowhere near Hyde Park!
Bob’s your uncle.
Huh, hmm.
Okay.
Okay.
Huh? Ah!
He-hey.
Okay.
Hey!
What are you doing here?
This is a restricted area!
Hands in the air!
No…
Stop that!
Get back.
Yay!
Ah!
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
Bob, Stuart…
So…
So, you came for
the Queen’s crown, did you?
Well, you’re gonna
have to get through me!
The Keeper of the Crown!
Ow! Hey!
You think it’s funny to mock the elderly,
do you?
Uh…
I’ve been up here for decades,
just waiting for someone to try
and steal the Queen’s treasure!
Okay.
What are you saying?
Never mind, don’t care!
Oh, no!
Oh, no, you don’t!
Oh, flippin’ heck!
What’s goin’ on?
Bob…
Eh… Hmm.
Wow.
Hello!
Huh?
Hello!
Stone the crows!
Stop him, lads!
Wait!
Go for the legs!
Gordon Bennett!
Kevin!
The Queen’s
been kidnapped, Sarge!
Blimey!
Hyah! Hyah!
Ooh!
Ha! Boo-ya!
Huh. Hyah! Hyah!
What’s going on?
Bello!
Oh, my goodness!
– Whoa!
– Ha-ha!
No!
Gentlemen do not steal ladies’ crowns!
Huh? Hmm?
Huh?
Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
Oh, dear!
Ah! Ahhh!
Yeah!
You scoundrel!
After them! Uh-oh.
Stop the blighter!
Go on, grab him!
Huh?
Huh? Oh.
Cor, blimey!
One of England’s most famous
myths has become a reality
as a new king has been crowned.
Bob, who appears to be
a bald, jaundiced child,
has pulled the famed sword
right from its stone,
which, legend dictates,
makes him the new king.
Tiny yellow traitor!
England!
England! England!
England!
England! England!
England! England…
Ha, ha!
Bello!
Bello!
Cut!
Hey, Bob.
Hello, King Bob.
Uh…
Welcome to Buckingham Palace.
Uh, no.
Oh, what’s the matter,
Your Majesty?
Whatever’s bothering you,
we can make it right.
Just name it!
Oh.
Buddies!
Buddies! Buddies!
Buddies!
Oh.
Uh…
King Bob!
Long live the king!
King Bob!
…Bob…
…King…
So…
King Bob!
Oh… Yeah!
King Bob! Wait!
– Wow!
– Whoa!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh…
Yee-haw!
King Bob!
Hyah!
Hmm? Huh! Ah!
Yes, King Bob. Oh.
King Bob?
King Bob?
Ah, Claire.
Mmm, Tiffany.
Rawr!
Ball!
How dare you!
Scarlet!
Don’t you “Scarlet” me,
you backstabbing little traitors!
Using Herb’s invention
to steal my crown?
I feel used.
Not gonna lie.
You stole my dream!
I was going to conquer England someday!
There was gonna be a coronation,
and I was going
to be made Queen.
Every moment was planned.
I’d wear a dress so sparkly,
it glowed!
And everyone who ever doubted
me would be watching,
and they would be crying!
I was going to be the picture
of elegance and class!
And you pinheads screwed it up!
No, no, no!
No, no, no, King Bob!
You cannot just abdicate the throne!
Who invited the square?
And you definitely cannot just
give the job to this woman!
There are laws!
Boss.
…Boss.
…Scarlet Popapil!
King Bob has
officially changed the law,
clearing the way
for Scarlet Overkill
to be crowned Queen of England!
She will be coronated at London’s
historic Westminster Abbey.
If I wasn’t so polite, I’d say this
spells certain doom for the country,
if not the world.
But I’m so very polite that
I shall keep my mouth shut.
But, seriously,
we’re all in big trouble.
Scarlet! Scarlet!
I don’t have time
to answer any questions.
I just want to thank the Minions
for going above and
beyond the call of duty.
You are three tiny, golden…
…pill-shaped
miracle workers,
and you have stolen not
just England but my heart.
Scarlet, over here!
Pardon me?
Eh?
Wow! So many!
Good for you!
Well, you’ll all
get what you deserve.
Serve!
…serve!
Whoo-hoo!
Oh.
Go ahead, go ahead.
Uh…
Uh…
I don’t want you to take this
the wrong way, but I hate you.
I thought I could get over what you did,
but I feel so betrayed.
I think…
Yes, I think we’re gonna have to break up.
And it’s not you.
Wait, hold on.
It is you. It’s 100% you!
No, no.
So get comfortable, Minions.
Get real, real comfortable.
Because this is where
you’re going to spend
the rest of your
worthless little lives.
All right!
Let’s do this!
Herb!
Who’s this
handsome “Herb” fella?
No, my name is “Blerb.”
I’m a dungeon master.
Prepare for torture, which I do!
All right, are we comfy?
Doesn’t matter! This is torture!
– Huh.
– Oh.
Wow! Harder than I thought.
Next machine!
Oh, welcome to Hang Town!
Population, you!
Oh.
Whoo-hoo!
Cut it out! This is
really unprofessional!
There’s no laughing
in the dungeon!
I wanna see tears and
I wanna hear screams,
or I’m gonna get… Wait!
Hey!
Ooh! I’ve got a groovy idea!
Ah!
Look at this!
Argh!
Hello!
Will the future king, Herb Overkill,
please come upstairs
to prepare for the coronation?
Well, I hope you learned
your lesson for today.
And by the way, it was me,
Herb, the whole time!
I don’t even know
anyone named “Blerb”!
Uh, Herb…
Oh. Huh.
I am hours away from becoming
the Queen of England!
I know! It’s a gas!
I will finally get my crown.
Yeah.
It’s all I’ve ever wanted.
I’m going to be so happy.
But let me ask you
something, Fabrice.
Does that look like this to you?
Mrs. Overkill, the hair in that picture,
it’s just two wavy lines!
Oh, so, what,
now you’re an art critic?
I drew that when I was five years old!
Get out of my sight!
Bye, Fabrice!
I liked him. He was fun.
So, what do you
think of the dress?
Oh, it’s so beautiful.
So fashion-forward. So Valentino.
Gave it a sweetheart neckline
because you’re my sweetheart.
The high collar
and cinched waist
reflect a simpler,
more violent time.
The material is a blend of taffeta
and high-density body armor.
Fully armed and loaded.
And that glow, that’s nuclear.
Nice. Just one more
thing to do.
Gotta look good for the public.
Ugh.
Do you mind?
My pleasure.
Little tighter, sweetie.
Come on, I can take it.
Little tighter.
Tighter!
Must have tiny waist.
Seeing stars, seeing stars!
Losing feeling in my legs. Perfect!
Tie it, tie it, tie it, tie it.
Huh?
Ah. Bob! Stuart!
Eh?
– Ooh! Bello!
– Ooh-ooh!
Ah! Oh.
Ah.
Huh!
Ah.
– Eh, eh, Kevin…
– …Scarlet.
Ah!
“Porry Scarlet.”
– He, he!
– …Boss.
Oh.
Ah, okay!
Huh?
I love you, Scarlet!
Queen wave, queen wave!
Queen waving!
– I am so, so excited!
– This is perfect!
Everyone looks so nice!
Oh! Oh, you are just adorable!
Oh, yes!
And that music, oh!
Who is that organist? She is good!
Right? She looks like an Edna.
Edna, you are very good!
Who was that? Whoa!
Thanks for doing this, padre.
Big fan. Uh-huh.
Come here, let me squeeze you!
Oh, you are so squishy!
…Scarlet.
Go, go, Go!
Ouch! Ouch!
…sayonara!
Ciao…
Bob…
Stuart!
Aww! Oo-ooh!
Okay!
Oh! Beh…
Will you to your power
cause law and justice…
…Popapil!
Oh!
Ah…
Hmm? Ah…
Huh? Uh… Uh…
Stopa!
Bah!
In mercy…
No, no, no!
Do you, Scarlet Overkill…
Yeah!
Huh? Oh?
No!
Uh, mmm…
…Bob.
I proclaim thee,
Scarlet Overkill,
the Queen of England!
Oh! Huh?
Kevin!
Huh?
Scarlet! Scarlet,
my queen?
Somebody help me!
Come on, come on!
Lift on two. One, two!
One, two!
Huh?
Scarlet! You’re okay!
He tried to kill me!
Uh, no…
Villains, this is no longer a coronation!
It is an execution!
Get them!
Whoa, Nelly!
Run, fellas, run!
Come back here, you!
Ah!
Uh?
Hyah!
Aah!
You’re mine!
Stuart, Bob! Uh…
Oops!
Oh!
Hey! I got one!
Tim!
Huh?
Oh? Aww! Oh!
Uh? Eh?
Tim!
Stuart! Bob!
Buddies!
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap!
Mind the gap! Mind the gap!
Mind the gap.
Mind the gap!
He won’t get away!
He won’t escape us!
Huh?
What about this one?
Why did the queen go to the dentist?
To get her teeth crowned.
Heh!
Tell us another one, Lizzy!
Uh, uh…
– Bello!
– Oh!
It’s you.
Everyone, this is one
of the little fellows
who stole the monarchy from me.
And how’s that
working out for you?
Uh, Scarlet…
Oh, yes, yes, I saw what
was going on on the telly.
Uh, telly?
What was meant to
be the coronation of
Scarlet Overkill has
gone terribly wrong as…
Move!
Kevin, Kevin,
I know you’re out there.
You think you’ve gotten away?
Well, what do we have here?
Bello!
Oh, my goodness!
Bob? Stuart?
Which one shall I kill first?
Little Bob? Stuart?
Bob! Stuart!
I will do it, Kevin,
if you are not back here by dawn!
Oh, my!
No!
…buddies!
…Scarlet.
There he is!
Follow me!
Ah! Ha-haa!
Who the man, eh?
Uh… Oh!
Oh.
Harder! It’s just my head.
Oh, no!
This way! Let’s get him!
Go, go, go!
No!
Huh?
Oh.
Huh?
Ultimate weapon initiated.
Activation in three, two, one.
Bello.
Huh?
…buddies!
This is it, boys!
Things do not look good for you.
Oh, and I’m keeping the bear.
Tim!
You’re not gonna need him
where you’re going.
Heaven.
Huh? Uh… Aah!
Shoosh, shoosh,
shoosh, shoosh! Oh!
Huh? Ah!
Bye-bye. Say bye-bye,
Bob. Bye-bye!
Huh?
Oh, whoa!
Wait, what? How did he…
Hold my bear.
Huh?
Yippee! Whoo-hoo-hoo!
Kevin!
So, that’s your plan?
Make yourself a bigger target?
Huh?
K-K-Kevin? Hey!
…Kevin!
Whoa!
Ow!
And so help me,
I never wanna see another one of
your goofy, bug-eyed
faces ever again!
Scarlet!
Scarlet! Scarlet! What?
Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!
Oh no, you don’t!
Whoa!
And just for the record,
my little deviled eggs,
you can thank Kevin for what
I’m about to do to you!
Ow! Ow!
Bob!
Stuart! Buddies!
Tony!
Tom!
Chris!
You the man!
Buddies! Mazel tov.
Ugh! Ew!
Ooh! Aah! Kevin! Kevin!
Enough! This ends now!
Kevin!
You imbecile!
Have fun exploding!
Baby!
What’s the rush?
Got to get out of here!
Let us go!
No, no, no, no!
Kevin!
Kevin…
Huh?
Ha-ha! Whoo-hoo!
Ooh!
Stuart?
Hmm.
Bob?
Okay.
Ladies and gentlemen,
we are here today to celebrate the Minions!
Huh!
The country owes you
a great debt of gratitude.
Bob, you were a wise and noble
king for all of eight hours.
So for you, I offer this tiny
crown for your teddy bear, Tim.
Oh, very good, Bob!
Oh, spectacular!
I’m so proud of you boys!
Oh, Stuart.
For you, I have this beautiful,
super-duper, incredible…
Ah!
…snow globe!
Eh? Poglobe?
Uh, ze…
And look, look,
hours of excitement!
Oh, uh…
Yippee.
Uh, eh, gracias.
Stuart, we’re just
messing with you!
Don’t be mad at me,
it was Kevin’s idea.
Kevin!
We have a much
better surprise for you!
…super mega ukulele!
Uh… Wow!
…poglobe.
Thank you.
Right. Uh…
And finally, Kevin!
You are a hero of
the highest order.
For your bravery and valor,
I am knighting you.
From here on out,
you are Sir Kevin.
Well done.
What a beautiful moment!
Kumbaya!
Kumbaya!
The nation, nay, the world was
celebrating Kevin, Stuart and Bob.
The last few thousand years were rough,
no question,
but things were
finally going their way!
Kevin had never been more proud.
But something was missing.
Yes, good show, good show!
My crown is gone! It’s gone!
Blimey!
She’s lost the crown!
Oh, my days!
Scarlet?
Scarlet! Hey!
…Scarlet! Hey!
They took everything from me!
My castle! My reputation!
Things look bleak,
baby, I’m not gonna lie!
But now at least
I have my crown!
Child, give me that back.
No, I don’t think so!
You have no idea who
you’re messing with!
I am the greatest
super-villain of all time!
Oh!
Were you?
B… B… Buddies…
Ah!
…Boss! Ha, ha!
Get back! Are you really going
to allow that little penguin
to make off with my crown?
Herb.
I’m done.
For me?
Bye-bye!
Big boss!
And that is how
the Minions found their new boss.
He was cunning,
he was evil, he was perfect.
He was despicable.
Huh?
Banana!
Banana!
Banana!
Banana! Banana! Banana!
Banana!
Cheese! Cheese! Cheese!
Gru! Gru! Gru!
Gru!
Bob…
Hey! Come back here!
Freeze ray!
UNK
What da heck
bro
wht the fu
OOGA BOOGA
BING BOP